Arthritis and Antipathy

Must everything irk me so? Every day is another minor annoyance, inevitably moving me closer to complete and utter soul-death. Yes, one day I will be very old and very bitter. A day maybe not so far off. I'm sure I sound like a middle-aged  failure, but to clear things up I'll state that I'm only twenty-one. I'm twenty-one, and I sometimes catch myself yelling at children. I can hear the rocking chair already, forever echoing my own ALS induced bitching with it's eerie creak. Forever that is, until I finally succumb to death's sweet embrace via a violent brain aneurysm. If you've read my previous post you'll know that I've reached a point in my thinking where I've begun to understand the elderly. As you're no doubt infatuated with me at this point, it will bereave you to learn that this is more than mere humor. I have become, an oldwhisperer. That's right, I can not only talk to, but understand the elderly. In a very short period of time, my talents have reached an almost ethereal level. I can even deduce the motives of these walking dead through their actions. A warning to those who would read on: consider this post a "Naturom Demonto"(look it up, i don't care). Anyways, things like the rocking chair. Those geezers are out there all day everyday, simply rocking away, austere examples of determination, focus, and consistency from rooster's crow until bedtime at five pm. We always assume "Oh, old people have just learned to enjoy the simple things in life." This is false! The reason old people sit around doing nothing all day, is because they hate everything. Doing nothing is the logical antithesis. You think your grandma mails you eleven dollars and eighty-four cents every birthday because she doesn't know the value of money? Think again. She does it because she hates you, but still needs someone to change her diaper. Her perceived ineptitude at coherent thought sure makes a nice scapegoat though. Old people are nihilists! Don't patronize them for their pathetic inability to complete simple tasks, hate them because they hate you. And respect them for being true to themselves and allowing the hatred to overwhelm them. A notion that would make the strongest amongst us quiver with fear.

Annoyed Manboy: teaching family values for day on end now.

I so very hate Ke$ha

Take everything of no consequence in this world, add a pretty face and overproduce the fuck out of it, now you have Ke$ha. It's as if "The Hills" was a person. I'm not saying she's shallow, but if Ke$ha was a body of water, a paramecium would not survive within. Anyone appreciate that? A fucking petri dish is deeper! She's a true simpleton in every sense of the word, and I don't mean she's necessarily retarded (though it's well within reason to speculate). Call it poetic license but what I mean is there's nothing to her, she's just the most shamelessly mindless and hollow monster Dr. Sony Frankenstein's ever created. She's not the first musician that's made it big without even the pretense of musical substance, but fame on such a level, devoid of even a shred of natural ability to distract from her soulless lyrics and generic beats... it flabbergasts me. I am actually stumped. I am dumbfounded at how dumb I've found the public to be for buying this sewage. I sound like a pretentious twat right now, and maybe that's what I'm becoming but why shouldn't I? It has taken such an audaciously disgusting and catastrophic blow to mainstream music to make me finally understand old people. You know those geriatric farts who sit around all day looping "Dr. Hook" and "Steely Dan" on vinyl, calling in to radio stations and talking about how nothing worth-while's been produced since 1978. You "Ke$ha", have made me understand them. The sheer unabashed shittiness of your comatose garble has given me a glimpse into my dark depressing future, and for that I will never forgive you.