Arthritis and Antipathy

Must everything irk me so? Every day is another minor annoyance, inevitably moving me closer to complete and utter soul-death. Yes, one day I will be very old and very bitter. A day maybe not so far off. I'm sure I sound like a middle-aged  failure, but to clear things up I'll state that I'm only twenty-one. I'm twenty-one, and I sometimes catch myself yelling at children. I can hear the rocking chair already, forever echoing my own ALS induced bitching with it's eerie creak. Forever that is, until I finally succumb to death's sweet embrace via a violent brain aneurysm. If you've read my previous post you'll know that I've reached a point in my thinking where I've begun to understand the elderly. As you're no doubt infatuated with me at this point, it will bereave you to learn that this is more than mere humor. I have become, an oldwhisperer. That's right, I can not only talk to, but understand the elderly. In a very short period of time, my talents have reached an almost ethereal level. I can even deduce the motives of these walking dead through their actions. A warning to those who would read on: consider this post a "Naturom Demonto"(look it up, i don't care). Anyways, things like the rocking chair. Those geezers are out there all day everyday, simply rocking away, austere examples of determination, focus, and consistency from rooster's crow until bedtime at five pm. We always assume "Oh, old people have just learned to enjoy the simple things in life." This is false! The reason old people sit around doing nothing all day, is because they hate everything. Doing nothing is the logical antithesis. You think your grandma mails you eleven dollars and eighty-four cents every birthday because she doesn't know the value of money? Think again. She does it because she hates you, but still needs someone to change her diaper. Her perceived ineptitude at coherent thought sure makes a nice scapegoat though. Old people are nihilists! Don't patronize them for their pathetic inability to complete simple tasks, hate them because they hate you. And respect them for being true to themselves and allowing the hatred to overwhelm them. A notion that would make the strongest amongst us quiver with fear.

Annoyed Manboy: teaching family values for day on end now.